ASD and me

For if I should want to boast, I would not be foolish—for I will speak the truth. But I refrain, so that no one may think more of me than what he sees in me or hears from me— even in the extraordinary quality of the revelations. So that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me—a messenger of satan to torment me, so I would not exalt myself. I pleaded with the Lord three times about this, that it might leave me.  But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Messiah may dwell in me. For Messiah’s sake, then, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in distresses, in persecutions, in calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (1 Cor. 12:6-10, TLV) As of late, I hate Asperger’s, it feels like a curse more than a blessing. Unchecked emotions, not knowing how to gauge them correctly. Which brings on a muddled perspective on situation...

Faith is a huge factor in my life, it has been ever since I was a kid going to an orthodox synagogue. I loved the ritual, the keeping of the commandments, the fact that the Bible tells the history of my ancestors. By the time my Bar Mitzvah came, I was ready to go even further on in Judaism, and it came to the point where my rabbi wanted me to go to study in one of the major yeshivas in our branch of Judaism. This was also the same year I entered a severe depression (which led to multiple suicide attempts).  While I was in the hospital, they diagnosed me with Asperger's, and that was that. They threw pills at me, but no suggestions of therapy which did not benefit me at all. I got out of hospital, and carried on with my life. I ended up going to yeshiva, and it was there I started to figure out who I was, who I was called to be, and who the Jewish Messiah is. I am, to this day, able to carry on a rabbinic debate which has served me well in the ministry God has called me to. Ho...